We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
