making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
