new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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