Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
