i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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