I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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