I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize