And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize