is your mom at the bar?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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