Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize