I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We have so much sex to catch up on
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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