Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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