Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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