google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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