Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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