even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
