areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
