Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
