Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
