Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So here I am, sexting at work.
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