haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize