And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
