He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
