I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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