You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
