Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
