The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
look no pants
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
