Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
