Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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