You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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