Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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