He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am midnight drunk by noon
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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