Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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