He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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