just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
