I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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