I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
