You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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