I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
