OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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