i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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