"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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