If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
