What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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