10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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