Betty ford says i'm here all night
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
