i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is the high leading the old right now
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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