SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think my mom watched the whole time
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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