is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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