My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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