great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
