I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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