this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
