I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
