booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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