I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
