dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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