hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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