This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
