that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There's always time for handjobs
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My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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