How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize