i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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