i think my mom watched the whole time
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
