The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
