goodnight i made you a song goodbye
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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