I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
