If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
