Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.

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(210): View more from Texas

I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?

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(523): View more from

Hey did where's my bong?

(1-523): View more from

In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right

(523): View more from

Should I bother to ask?

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(+61): View more from Australia

It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

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(760): View more from California

Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes

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(218): View more from Minnesota

So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.

(778): View more from British Columbia

Proud of you.

(604): View more from British Columbia

We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.

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