i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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