and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im holly from the hills drunk
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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