I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize