Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm bleeding and have questions
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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