After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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