Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
